Friday, 11 January 2008

No More Champagne And The Fireworks Are Through

So said Benny and Bjorn many moons ago. Indeed, it’s true, we are well into January and the party season is truly behind us, but as a colleague of mine is fond of saying, it will soon be Christmas! So anyway, we are back to the business we call “show” and yet again I have to keep my eye open for topics for the column.

So far I have drawn a complete blank so I thought I would exclusively reveal that Connie Fisher likes my cake! Yes it’s true, I am sure you will all sleep soundly with that comforting news as you brave the potential snow and cold. It was at the annual office Christmas extravaganza (ok, ok just a party) that she tasted the aforementioned fancies. There was two kinds of banana tea loaf and a Caribbean Christmas cake. You do this in a “bunt” with lots of coconut and pineapple and sickly glaze but it is actually very nice, albeit sweet! Suffice to say I had more than one piece. I think Connie did too as she told me she liked it at least three times. Her suggestion that I provide for her cake scoffing scene in “The Sound Of Music” is unlikely to bear fruit (cake) however. I demand a very high percentage of the profits for such a contribution. And two banana cakes you may ask? Well, you are supposed to make it with hazelnuts, which I of course did, but we have a rather difficult and high maintenance person here (that would be Nic Myers) with a nut allergy. Tempted as I was to see him turn purple and watch his eyes pop out of his head I made an extra one with sultanas instead. So there you go, a paragraph on cake, I doubt you were expecting that!

The party had been a great success and, more than a little Merlot-logged, I headed off to get my train. Now that was a slightly bizarre experience. The train pulled out of Waterloo only for an announcement to ring out saying “this is the 9.40 service to London Waterloo calling at Staines, Windsor, Walford, Emmerdale…” well you get the idea! It was only a week before Christmas, so I suspect most of the other passengers were also a little squiffy, and everyone started panicking. “Is this train going to Richmond?” “Am I on the service to Reading?” , “When Did You Last See Your Trousers?” hmmm I think that last one was actually a 1980’s farce! Anyway everyone hoped the train was the right one as it continued to tell us it was heading towards Waterloo despite the fact we were hurtling in the opposite direction. It really was a train with an identity crisis – or, as I like to think of it, a Bi-Polar Express.

So I got safely home and Christmas came and went. I saw what happened when Kylie met the Doctor, Joseph met Maria and Benazir Bhutto met her maker. Mince pies, Turkey, Quality Street and champagne were consumed in inappropriate quantities and before I knew it a new year had arrived. All the festive Christmas boxes had been ticked, I had even been kissed under the mistletoe. I am not sure the mistletoe kiss really counts however as it was by a dozen lesbians as the midnight bongs chimed signalling the new year. Oh well!

So I guess that’s about it for this weeks column. A suitably theatre inspired column will come soon I am sure. All that remains is for me to announce that, for readers of last weeks preview/review, a single is about to be released from the forthcoming Allan Ferris musical “A Tale Of Two Valleys”. The track is a duet between Christopher Biggins and Aiofhe Mulholland entitled “All I Ask Of Foo”

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