Sunday, 30 December 2007

Lavish Your Daughter With Eggs And Affection 30-12

“Save the cheerleader save the world!”

Well that got your attention!

So the year is almost over which means there is no better time for me to take a (slightly tongue in cheek) look back,and also forward into 2008.

Hmmmmmmmmmm 2007, well it’s been an eventful year I guess. Gordon Brown was voted king of the jungle. Christopher Biggins became our new prime minister after the resignation of Lionel Blair. The shy and retiring John Barrowman spent another year out of the public eye. Oh, and Cheryl Wilkin has gone off jammy dodgers! Now what else……..

Well (“Celebrity Big Brother” aside) it’s been a good year for reality television I guess, “Grease” jumped on the Maria bandwagon and “Any Dream Will Do” discovered a new star in Lee Mead. The X Factor was won by Leon and Alisha Dixon danced to glory. We also had our first taste of “Reality theatre” as “Desperately Seeking Susan” debuted. Each night the audience saw a different performance and the clapometer decided what bits had worked and what didn’t then the next night it was all change as they strove to make a hit show! Sadly despite the work of the clapometers it was a bit of a failed exercise as the hoped for results never materialised! Never mind.

In Theatreland, recent arrival “Hairspray” starring Edna Everage as Michael Ball is wowing crowds at the Shaftesbury. Sadly over at the Duke of York’s Denise Van Outen can’t pay her rent - but despite this she is over the moon. Last years crop of big musicals are still going strong as “Spamalot”, “Dirty Dancing”, “Wicked” and “The Sound Of Music” continue to attract audiences. Next year sees Connie Fisher bid so long, farewell to her dirndl as she climbs ev’ry mountain to her next project. Meanwhile there is much speculation on her replacement. We have heard rumours of pop stars, soap stars, film stars even Christopher Biggins as the new Maria. I do have my sources of course so I can make a quiet announcement here. Shhhhh though, it’s a secret. What isn’t a secret is that early in the new year Liz Dawn leaves “Coronation Street” after over thirty years as Vera Duckworth. So yes I can exclusively reveal that from next march the hills will be alive with the sound of “Jack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“There’s going to be an amputation in the village”

So we move on to television and the village in question would of course be Cranford. Possibly one of the most entertaining series to grace our screens in years. Where else would you see a cow in pajamas and as for the cat that ate Imelda Staunton’s best lace – well you had to see that! Some things you just can’t make up! The minutiae of Victorian village life was beautifully realised in this enchanting series. As Judi Dench said in the last episode it was “such a fine close weave”

As for that cheerleader, “Heroes” has been the years cult success. A group of seemingly ordinary people discovered they have special abilities then battled to save the world. Of course See/RUT is not without it’s heroes too……the call centre operator who can make one call last 35 minutes, the usherette who can juggle three ice creams whilst doing the dance routine to “All That Jazz” and let’s not forget the most astonishing ability of all…..yes at the Palladium we have a goat that sings show tunes! Save the goat save the world!!!!!!!!!!!

Also from America came “Brothers and Sisters” . In this surreal world Very Annie Mary is the sister of Ally McBeale and their mother is Gidget (try “Google”). We have a fiftysomething who used to be a thirtysomething, and a straight welsh man playing a gay American. Not to mention a Getty who was looking for missing millions! Oh the lives they lead!

I should of course mention “Doctor Who” as, former Drury Lane usherette, Freema Agyeman boarded the Tardis as his latest side kick Martha Jones! Hot casting rumours for next year include Anna Keighley as a terileptil and Andre Ptazynski as the newly regenerated Master.

In the world of pop Amy Winehouse didn’t want to go to rehab. No no no. Pete Doherty didn’t want to go to jail. The Spice Girls have got back together and Take That ‘s return goes from strength with the news that they are finally replacing Robbie Williams. Christopher Biggins begins rehearsals in the new year. The year’s big success story has been Leona Lewis of course with her debut album breaking all records.

The O2 Arena opened with a string of high profile concerts including Bon Jovi, Take That and Barbra Streisand. Plans for their next year include Kris Boobyer doing his Girls Aloud tribute show and Chrissie Tanners “Don’t Mess With My PPs” tour.

So what else?

Tracey Barlow was jailed. The Drowsy Chaperone failed. Louis Walsh was sacked – rehired. Steve McLaren was fired. Michael Parkinson retired. Sarah Jane Smith was revived. That canoeist was found – seems he survived. The American writers went on strike. Ewan McGregor got on his bike. All in all somewhat poetic year!

So 2008?
The producers of “Heroes” have announced a new character for the third season – Gee Foo the Malaysian cousin of Hiro – the catch phrase set to grip the world is “If I cut my hair I lose my powers!”. In the West End Boublil and Schonberg return with the musical “Marguerite” at the Haymarket. Over at the New London Anna Charles and Berni Green have “The Wind”. Last but not least Andrew Lloyd Webber is to begin work on his new musical “A Tale Of Two Valleys” the story of (unassuming box office manager) Allan Ferris and his life in Wales and California. Christopher Biggins is mooted to star.

So on that exclusive note I draw this parallel universe review and preview to close. All that remains is for me to wish you a very happy new year!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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- David